As my siblings and I have gotten older and had our own kids, family get-togethers have gotten both larger and louder. We are at the point, like many other families, where we can’t all fit at the dining table, so we set up a kids' table in the living room. And it’s great—the kids get to be loud, messy, and leave half-eaten food everywhere while the adults get to enjoy catching up and having meaningful conversations. But no kid should permanently stay at the kids' table.
The problem I see is that too many families treat kids ministry like the kids' table and haven’t considered what it looks like to integrate them into the life of the local church. The thought process goes something like this: “I’ll take my kids to Veritas Kids, where they can learn and worship, so I can go to service, where I will learn and worship.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that our church has a ministry dedicated to helping kids learn truths about Jesus from the Bible—this ministry is literally part of my job. There are great benefits to having a kids ministry and to having your child participate in one. It is an environment where they can hear foundational truths and develop friendships that can help set them up for a lifetime of following Jesus well.
I don’t want to take too much time on this, but here’s what I would love to see from our families at Veritas: parents having an intentional plan for helping their kids see what involvement in the local church looks like. When kids are babies, by all means, have them in our nursery rooms where they can be cared for and prayed over. As they transition into toddlerhood, find ways to incorporate them into worshiping through song with your family in service. When they reach early elementary age, they are ready to join you in the service and go to their classroom with their peers while you serve the church or take a class of your own. It is good to see kids ministry as an equipping ministry for your kids in addition to gathering with the church. But, if we begin to place kids ministry as a top priority—having a kids-ministry-first mentality––there’s a problem.
The primary problem I see is that when we treat kids ministry as the priority for our kids, we are saying that we believe a classroom for kids can replace the gathering of the church. I’ll take some of the blame for this. In a church that offers kids ministry at the same time as the worship service, it can easily be interpreted as, “My kids go in there (their classroom) while I go in here (the church service).” And if that’s the message you’ve heard (whether audibly or inadvertently), I’m sorry. Though we do want to provide safe and engaging environments for your kids, we don’t want to do that at the expense of their participation in the life of the gathered church. There is nothing that can replace the gathering of God’s people. There is no ministry a church can provide that can replace the gathering of the church. There’s a reason that the author of Hebrews warns the people:
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25)
We are commanded to not neglect gathering together. There’s nothing that can replace gathering together. And the reason why we gather—according to this passage—is to stir up one another to love and good works and to encourage one another. While our kids' classrooms are great places for your kids to learn, grow, and develop friendships with other kids in our church, they cannot accomplish what the gathering of God’s people can accomplish. There is a unique encouragement and stirring up of one another that happens when you gather as a church.
Closely related, sending kids to a kids ministry rather than having them in a church service with you goes against the biblical precedent of all people being gathered together to be instructed by God’s Word. All throughout the scriptures, we see it implied that kids are a part of the gathering:
Assemble the people, men, women, and little ones, and the sojourner within your towns, that they may hear and learn to fear the Lord your God, and be careful to do all the words of this law, and that their children, who have not known it, may hear and learn to fear the Lord your God, as long as you live in the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess. (Deuteronomy 31:12-13)
And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessing and the curse, according to all that is written in the Book of the Law. There was not a word of all that Moses commanded that Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel, and the women, and the little ones, and the sojourners who lived among them. (Joshua 8:34-35)
And while those are Old Testament references, we also see in the New Testament that Paul assumes kids are present as his letters are being read to the church. In Ephesians 6:1-3, he specifically instructs children, showing that he assumes they are also present as the letter is read.
A kids ministry was never meant to replace the gathering of God’s people. And here’s what I find really troubling: When you prioritize your kids going to a classroom instead of the worship service, you are robbing them of experiencing the benefit of the church. As I mentioned above, there is a unique encouragement, stirring up, and building up that happens in the gathering of God’s people. To intentionally pull your kids from church to have them go to our kids ministry is to rob them of that encouragement and building up that can only happen as the people of God gather together.
Additionally, we believe that the Spirit of God works through the preaching of the Word of God. Romans 10:14-17 helps us see that this should be expected. It’s no coincidence that we hear of people coming to saving faith as a result of the preached Word of God—kids and teenagers are no exceptions. I, myself, was saved as a result of sitting under biblical preaching as a child. Your children joining you in church doesn’t just have them participate in the joy-giving, church-building, mutually-encouraging work of gathering, but it puts them under the Spirit-filled preaching of God’s Word, which makes people wise for salvation.
Hopefully, you’re starting to see the need for your child to join you in church. Here’s what I would ask you to do:
- Be encouraged! If you’re doing the hard work of bringing your kids into church and teaching them what it looks like to engage in worship and God’s Word, you’re doing a great work. Don’t stop! Even though you may have to make sacrifices on your end as you teach and train your kids, the sacrifices are well worth it.
- If you’re currently not having your child go to church with you, consider bringing your child into service with you.
- If you’re overwhelmed or unsure what it could look like to bring them in with you, tune in to our next article for practical tips to start making this a regular rhythm for your family.