Anyone who has parented young boys knows they have low standards of cleanliness. Or perhaps it’s worse than just low standards. Sometimes it seems like they are dirt-blind altogether. After coming to the table covered in dirt from some good adventures outdoors, which is highly recommended, and being told to wash their hands, which might be less highly recommended (Mark 7), they then insist that they already have washed their hands. And the trouble is, they actually have. Holding up their hands to prove their washing, completely blind to all the dirt still wedged under their fingernails and between the crevices of their palms, ready to dive into dinner, they are completely blind to their own dirt, convinced their hands are clean. But to Mom, it is obvious they are still too dirty. 

This reminds me of Proverbs 30:12—“There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth.”

You know the type—always convinced they don’t have problems, but everyone else sees they do. It is easy to see the dirt on other people, the filth they have yet to deal with, or are refusing to deal with. And what is even more frustrating is also seeing their ignorance to it. They think they are clean. This is a good reminder of the importance of community and the importance of humility. 

We all need others to help us see the dirt we don’t see. Of course, there is going to be sin in our life that is plain to us, and those are the issues we are trying to work on. But who is there to help us when we think we are fine—when we are convinced we are clean? That is the more dangerous place to be. After all, the writer of Hebrews reminds us that sin is deceitful (Hebrews 3:13), hiding under our nails and in the crevices of our lives, persuading us that we are fine. That’s why the author tells us to exhort one another. Anyone serious about holiness needs friends who will tell us otherwise when we are convinced we are fine. 

Now you might be thinking, that doesn’t sound like a very fun friend, but I suppose that all depends on what you are after in life. If it is just a good time, then no, you will not like friends like that. But if you crave godliness, then you need friends like that.

But this takes humility. I mean, after all, the boy at the dinner table is sure that he already washed his hands, and they are probably still wet to prove it. But, as the proverb tells us, there are those who are clean in their own eyes. It takes humility to admit your own eyes are not enough. We live in a time where we have overinflated the value of our own perspective and need to recapture a proper understanding of our own neediness. Left to ourselves, there is so much we won't see. The first step in dealing with our own dirt is admitting that there is probably more there than what we are aware of. That kind of humility welcomes the voice of trusted friends speaking into our lives. 

Long for holiness and you will value community. But valuing community without a longing for holiness will only give you a type of community that just reinforces your own perspective—more voices telling you that you are fine. Veritas, the way to have the best kind of friends is to long to honor God in all of life with others that long to honor God in all of life. Let’s not be the people who are convinced we are clean in our own eyes and live lives of unrepentance. Care enough to speak up, and care enough to listen up when others speak up. We don’t have to be afraid of what might get pointed out. God’s grace is sufficient, and repentance is not only possible, but to the truly converted, it’s desired.