Before Jesus Changed My Life

I was raised in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday. I remember asking Jesus into my life at a young age, but without a true understanding of what that meant. Instead of being quick to listen and slow to anger, I always reacted first and thought about it later. I was always upset with myself for my reactions and resolved to do better, but always of my own accord, without leaning into prayer or reading the Bible. This was my general approach to any problems I faced in life: make a plan, follow it, fix the problem, and try again if needed. I'd occasionally pray but relied much more on my own abilities than on God. From the outside, I was doing all the "right things" - going to church, going to youth group, being involved with other church activities, and having a solid group of Christian friends, but never really internalized my need for a Savior.

How Jesus Changed My Life

I'm someone who likes to make a plan, and have life generally go the way I planned it. I don't like feeling like I'm not in control of a situation. As a sophomore in college, nothing went the way I had planned it. I wasn't doing as well as I wanted to academically and had a falling out with the people I thought were my friends. I had to start over with a new friend group, which was such a blessing. I had a group of friends to go to church with again, and I realized I needed more than my own will to get me through life. Proverbs 16:9 says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.". This has been on my heart frequently throughout my life when inevitably, my plans do not match up with the plan that God has for me. I realized that, on my own, I've never been in control and that my desire to have control was a lack of faith. No matter what happens in this life, God is good. God keeps his promises. God never promised me comfort and a life that goes the way I want it to, but He did fulfill his promise that Jesus died for my sins and that through faith in Christ, my sins are forgiven.

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

Since realizing my need for a Savior, I am more apt to turn to prayer and Godly counsel for help rather than relying on my own plans. The verse Philippians 4:6 has often been a comfort to me when there is a difference between my plans and God's plans: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will fill your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I try to daily surrender my will to Christ's will and am thankful for the grace of God to catch me when I fail. I find my rest in God's faithful promises, that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm, plans for hope and a future.