Before Jesus Changed My Life

Before Jesus saved me, I was going through a losing battle in my mind about the big picture. Why am I here? Why or how does any of this exist? Why is my death inevitable? Why are there no answers? It was a battle that would cause me to break down and have anxiety attacks at any time of the day. Sadness, anxiety, anger, and depression started to tower over me as the battle kept going. The best way that I'd deal with it was to shut it down. Turn off my brain to it. Become numb. It obviously didn’t work that great because there would be moments at random times that would hit me hard. Watching TV, taking a shower, trying to go to sleep. I would abruptly start freaking out of my mind, and I would lose my breath, hyperventilate, stomp, yell, cry, and do just about anything I could think of to try to fight that hopeless feeling of dying or just not understand the big picture. I was only in middle school when it started and lasted until after high school. It was a battle I was losing, and I began to focus on some pretty dark things. Until one night, I pleaded to Jesus to be my Lord and Savior during another brutal battle. I turned to him because I talked to my girlfriend’s dad about this. And I remembered him saying that when you want Jesus to help you, go to him and ask him to be your Lord and Savior. So I did it. After I did it, I felt such a warm glow in my heart which made me feel weightless and took my breath away. The battle ended immediately, I felt peace, happiness, and seen. It almost felt like a bear hug in my heart. It surprised me so much that I started to cry in the moment. Just kept saying “Thank you” over and over again. I haven't had another battle like that since.  Jesus saved me from myself. Drowning in my own mind, Jesus lifted me back to the surface and saved me. I love him, and I get to show him my love back and commit to him because he came for a boy that never really heard of him before that.

How Jesus Changed My Life

After the day he saved me, my look at life and the world completely changed. I felt that he gave me eyes to see the world for what it is. The rights and wrongs were clearer to me than ever. Still had a lot to learn, so I started to gain a hunger for him. So I tried to start reading the Bible my now in-laws had, and I would talk to my father-in-law about Jesus more, he was a big help in me going down the path. I started to give God glory for how my life is. Praying more to Him, trying to read His Word, and just thinking about Him. When I found Jesus, I didn’t know really anything about him. My mother was and is a self-proclaimed atheist, and my father never really spoke about God. So I didn’t really know anything. So it took me a little time to get a proper grasp of how important Jesus' sacrifice was. This started about 5 or 6 years ago when I was 19 or 20. Now I'm 25 and have learned about how amazing our Lord Jesus Christ is for not only his word but his actions behind his word. Dying on the cross for the ungodly (Romans 5:6). I’m currently in Romans and I am just in awe with chapters five, six, and seven at the moment. Speaking about Jesus and his sacrifice for all of us. Even though we are undeserving, he went through that torture and bloodshed to save us. Talk about the trueness of his love. Some specific steps that I have taken for my personal faith response would be giving God all the glory for what I have in my life whether it’s my home, my wife, my 1-year-old daughter, my pets, or all of it in-between. Another step is making time for him by reading the Bible and praying to him, and being obedient to His Word the best I can. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help guide me through problems that come my way in life, and how to deal with things like how Jesus would. Always offering a helping hand, being honest, and trying to be a good example of a follower of Christ. I love Romans 5:7, showing how Jesus loves and cares for us, even if we do not feel loved. In Romans 7:15, how Paul is telling about his imperfections with doing evil instead of good, even though you want to do good. Falling short in the flesh is so easy. Then Romans 7:18-19 explains that the flesh will fight against the law. Finding and then fighting with your spirit to take command over flesh. Lead away from sin and towards righteousness. I believe it’s a very common problem for people who learn about Jesus and try to follow, and yet stumble in the pursuit. It's also great to hear someone in the Bible relate to it.

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

Since Jesus saved me, I know who to turn to, to help me with any situation I find myself in, whether it's family or just life. I put my trust in Christ and believe in Him. Something I think about often is when Jesus is led to the wilderness to be tempted by the devil and is quoted to have said in Matthew 4:4, referencing Deuteronomy 8:3, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” This struck me because I think that nothing can be the "bread" without God. Nothing in this world can surpass God. Everything will lose against God, and it hit me when I was trying to win the battle without God. I couldn't win my own battle with myself, so how can I live without Him? I cannot. After finding Jesus, my life has improved to a point where I can’t find anything not to be grateful for. Even for any shortcomings or problems that I run into, it's just a new obstacle to overcome or endure, and something that won't wear me down. It's a chance to fight with the Holy Spirit in me to take on any challenge the world has to offer. I am blessed with a one-year-old daughter named Hazel and a beautiful wife named Emily. God has only led me down the best path I couldn't have even imagined I'm on today. I'm truly blessed, all glory to God.