Before Jesus Changed My Life
Before Jesus, I lived for the approval of others, for the idealized version of myself with impossible standards to live up to, and finding my worth in those things. I thought trying my best to be a good person was what would be valuable and would make me feel good. My feelings and I alone were ultimately guiding my life and my decisions. I felt alone, ashamed, and hopeless; thinking about myself so much and relying on my own strength was futile and tiresome.
How Jesus Changed My Life
In all of my striving, my friendships were falling apart, and I was anxious and depressed. I had grown up in the church and heard the gospel, but it was at this low point with nothing else to grab onto that Jesus became real to me. In my loneliness and shame, prayer and worship were lifelines, and I accepted the gospel. I was confronted with the fact that thinking so much of myself, even in insecurity, was sin, and I was in need of a savior. I could finally understand that because of my sin, I was separated from God. In His love for me, Jesus came to earth, lived a sinless life, died a brutal death on the cross, and rose again three days later. He is the perfect, atoning sacrifice to cover my sins, dying the death I deserve. Because of His sacrifice, I was invited to live eternally with Him. Romans 10:9-10 says, "because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." By truly believing in Jesus and confessing, I was able to accept the gift of eternal life with God and freedom from my sin. Even though I had previously prayed a prayer as a child to accept Jesus into my heart, it was at this time that I devoted my life to Him. I finally understood that life had no other purpose than to live with Christ. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." This passage resonated so much with me at the time because everything felt so heavy when I was trying so hard to meet my own impossible standards or to be perfect in the eyes of others, but never feeling anywhere close. However, through accepting Christ, I felt free from the burdens of shame, loneliness, being ruled by feelings, and pride. God showed me I was never created to walk through life relying on my own strength, but He had a better way for me.
My Life After Jesus Saved Me
Since accepting Christ, I have been filled with such peace and joy. He truly does give us a new heart. I no longer am ruled by feelings, the pressure I put on myself, or the opinions I thought others had, but Jesus is my one true King. Life with Christ is full of truth, which He so kindly reveals in His word, and full of hope and joy that can only be found in Him. I was saved seven years ago, and it is so sweet to revisit my salvation story and see His provision since then. One of the ways He has been sanctifying me lately has been through what Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says, "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ." With Christ, I can take every thought captive and make it obedient to His Word. Because of Christ's love for me, I get to live every day with the hopeful expectation of being united with Him for eternity, and I cannot think of anything more joyful.