Before Jesus Changed My Life
I grew up moving around as a military dependent. We didn’t go to church, and though I believed in God, I didn't know Him. As a teenager, I found myself smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, and making destructive choices. As a young adult, I entered an abusive marriage and had two handsome boys. I stayed for many years, believing divorce would dishonor God, but the pain drove me into heavy drinking, drug use, and eventually unfaithfulness as I tried to cope with the abuse.
When I finally found the courage to leave, the overwhelming pain and guilt spiraled me into even deeper sin—I became highly promiscuous, developed an addiction to pornography, and turned to shoplifting to cope. Then, in August of 2006, my brother died by suicide. The heartbreak devastated me. Less than a year later, in July of 2007, my divorce was finalized. I felt like an absolute failure to God for not saving my marriage, even though it was an abusive one. The combined weight of this grief and intense guilt triggered severe depression and anxiety, resulting in a complete mental breakdown, multiple suicide attempts, and time spent in psychiatric care at Mercy Hospital. I was entirely broken and looking for life in all the wrong places.
How Jesus Changed My Life
It was right in the middle of this brokenness that God began preserving my life for something better. He brought a wonderful man, my current husband, into my chaos, and his calm presence gave me a deep sense of peace. We built a life together, but I was still fighting against the changes God was trying to make in me. I fell back into my old patterns and eventually tried to commit suicide a third time.
In the hospital, as the medical team worked frantically to pump my stomach, I had an out-of-body experience. I remember floating above myself, watching them work on my body, while seeing my late brother standing quietly in the corner of the room. Surviving that night completely changed how I thought, and I went back to the psychiatric floor at Mercy Hospital with a different mindset.
However, the tight grip of sin still caused me to stumble afterward—I was unfaithful and eventually left my partner. But while we were apart, the Holy Spirit began changing how I felt, making me realize that God did not approve of how I was living. I chose to return, confess my wrongdoings, and we reconciled. From that moment on, whenever I struggled, my partner would gently tell me, "Take it to God."
That was the true turning point for my faith. I finally took his advice and started talking to God through real, constant prayer. I felt a brand-new desire to truly know Him.
After all, the gospel shows us a God who loves humanity so deeply that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to bear the wrath we deserve for our sins. We are all broken by sin every day, and without His grace, we could never break free on our own. Jesus came to live the perfect, sinless life we couldn’t live, died the death we owed, and conquered the power of sin so we could be fully restored to God. When we surrender our selfish desires and place our absolute trust in Him, we experience genuine inner peace and true spiritual freedom. We aren't the ones in control—God is. Because of this, anyone who puts their faith in Jesus receives complete forgiveness and eternal life. As John 3:16 reminds us, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." By holding fast to faith and hope in our mighty God, we know that we will one day return to our true home in heaven.
That was the moment I felt God truly transforming my life from the inside out. Over the next several years, he gave me the strength to walk away from my oldest addictions; I stopped drinking, quit smoking cigarettes, and stopped shoplifting entirely. Instead of running away, I finally committed to building a healthy relationship with the man God had sent to me.
Even though years passed before I actually stepped into a physical church building, my prayer life deepened dramatically. A year ago, I finally found Veritas Church and decided to attend on my own. My sister-in-law was already attending, so we began sitting together, and God beautifully used that to give me an immediate sense of community. Together, we took classes that opened my eyes to the true depth of the gospel and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I realized I could no longer live for my own selfish desires, but needed to live for Him. The Lord freed me from my remaining bondages, enabling me to stop watching pornography completely and leave marijuana behind. I explained to my husband that I wanted to get married—not just to be together, but to truly honor God and leave a life of sin behind. He agreed, and we were married this past July.
My Life After Jesus Saved Me
Today, I attend church almost every Sunday, pray daily, read my Bible more than ever, and joyfully tithe with plans to become an official member.
God never gave up on me, even when I had completely given up on myself. He brought me out of an abusive marriage, gave me a good man who loves and accepts me, and taught me to find my ultimate happiness in Him instead of the world. I am still learning daily and have a long way to go, but I am incredibly blessed because both my husband and Veritas Church led me straight to the unconditional love and forgiveness of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Praise God!!!