Before Jesus Changed My Life

Before I was saved, my identity was in sports and relationships. My mood was defined by these things, and they often let me down. To seek satisfaction, I would primarily rely on worldly things, resorting to sin, temporary pleasures, and personal achievement. I tried so hard to fill the God-sized void in my heart with the world - but the reality is that nothing in creation can compare to the Creator. Before I knew Christ, I sought fulfillment from impure relationships, sports, social media, and many other things - usually a combination of vices to hide the fact that something was missing in my life. I desired fulfillment but didn't know where to find it. I knew the story of Jesus, but didn't think much of it. Deep down, I desired the saving grace of God, but didn't know exactly how big God is, how powerful Jesus' blood is, or how applicable it was for me.

How Jesus Changed My Life

I first recognized my sin for what it was at an FCA camp in Pella, IA in 2022. I was at the lowest point in my life after being hurt by the ending of a long-term relationship and was sidelined from sports due to a shoulder surgery. The vices I had previously leaned on for my joy had been stripped away from me. I didn't know where to turn, and had been sort of treading water for about three months. At camp, the gospel was presented to me in a much more personal way than it had been before, and Romans 6:23 finally made sense to me. I understood that I deserved death for my sin and rebellion against God. I knew that my sin could be forgiven through Jesus' blood, but I had the misconception that there was still something I needed to do to earn fulfillment and freedom from the grip of sin. After camp, I tried to read my Bible, but I couldn't develop a consistent rhythm and reading felt like a chore to me. Eventually, I allowed the cares of the world to regain control of my life, and I fell right back into the same sins I thought I had been freed from. For the next three years, I entered a cycle of going to camp, getting a 'camp high,' and slowly allowing sin to regain control of my life after the week at camp was over. But last summer, in 2025, I went to camp for the fourth time, leading and discipling a group of ten high school freshmen. I was very disappointed in myself, because I felt like I wasn't doing a good enough job with them. Halfway through the week, I confessed this to my fellow leaders, and they reminded me that I couldn't do a good enough job. It finally clicked for me that only Jesus could save me, and there was nothing I could do to present myself worthy of salvation. I felt like I had finally exhausted all my resources; I had reached the end of myself and broke into tears for 15-20 minutes. My whole life, I had been trying to earn love, but I finally understood that God demonstrated his boundless, unconditional love for me by giving His only Son to atone for my iniquities (John 15:13). From this moment on, I decided to make Jesus the Lord of my life. For the last three years, I had thought the idea of salvation sounded good, and I knew what Jesus offered, but I wasn't quite ready to give up my comforts and cares of what other people thought of me. Now, I was finally ready to lay aside every weight and sin to run the race with Jesus as the perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). These three years were a slow process of realizing the type of commitment Christianity required, but God's sovereignty and perfect timing led me to be truly saved at the perfect time in my life.

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

Now that Jesus has saved me, I not only seek to avoid sin, but through God’s grace I no longer find sin to be appealing. He has given me a new spiritual appetite. Sin is what separates us from God, and I now see it as such; sin is no longer attractive to me and it is a joy to look to the cross in times of temptation, fear, and need. Now that I am a true believer, the Holy Spirit has granted me a desire for consistent prayer and reading rhythms to stay connected to the vine and abide in Christ (John 15:5). I know that I am saved because I now bear much more fruit since being saved. Before I was saved, I relied on my own willpower to display fruits, which never worked. But now, the Holy Spirit is sanctifying me to look more like Jesus, the founder and perfecter of my faith. I now have the joy of the Lord and don't have to rely on my circumstances because I know where my eternity rests - secured in heaven, sealed by Jesus' blood. I now feel a burden to share the gospel and the love of Jesus with those around me who I see rebelling against God, blind to their own sins and distance from God. I see my old self in them, loving the world and blind to the truth. I know I have eternal life in Jesus because I have placed my faith in Him and made Him Lord of my life. John 15:8 - "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples."