Before Jesus Changed My Life

I grew up in a Christian home and have always gone to church. I accepted what I was told because I knew nothing else, and it seemed good. I understood from a young age that Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, but I never really got the depth of the gospel. I always said that I was a Christian because that’s what I thought it was, understanding the things and knowing the correct answers; but Jesus isn’t a class to pass, He’s continually pursuing you so you can have a relationship with Him. In 5th grade, my family switched churches, and I didn’t understand why, which left me upset with my parents and God. In middle school, I was bullied for being friends with guys and thus lost my friend group. This led me to depression and self-isolation, switching between new groups and agreeing most with self-centered “my ways are better than anyone else’s” type of people. This changed my way of thinking, and I was mad at God. Even through this rebellion, God continued to look for me. At different times at youth group, I felt seen and felt happier than many other times, even though I wasn’t there for the right reason.

How Jesus Changed My Life

I didn’t pay much attention while at church, but I started taking notes so I could do something instead of being bored. This helped me get more head knowledge that I didn’t always understand or agree with. I got the opportunity to go to summer camp each year through church. The summer going into 8th grade, I finally grasped the gospel. I finally began to understand the depth of how much Jesus has gone through for me and how He continued to pursue me, seek out my heart, even when I wanted nothing to do with Him and was against Him (Romans 5:7-8). I finally had hope. I could finally embrace the fact that the gospel in simple terms is the good news. It is how we get God the prize, through Jesus. Without the sacrifice of Jesus we can’t get to God, the only way to God is through Jesus, and apart from him we can’t do anything (John 14:6, 15:5-6). So, by his sacrifice on the cross defeating sin and death by raising from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:56-57), we get a new life with God the prize.

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

I didn’t change a huge amount right away. Through time and continuing to go to church (and actually pay attention), I started to see more of God and less of myself. My faith really grew when I decided to be a junior counselor at East Iowa Bible Camp. I was pushed to read my Bible daily, and there was genuine fellowship and accountability with other like-minded believers. I started to actually address sin as the big deal it is. Understanding that sin is against a Holy God and His intentional design, which is much more than just doing right and not doing wrong. I was shown how we get a new life in Christ and that means a new life freed from sin (Romans 6:1-11). The community and people helped show me what it’s like to rely on God more. I saw what it can look like to have a relationship with a relational God. How to intentionally set time to be alone with God each day. That following year started to shape my faith and grow in my everyday habits. While there is still struggle, there is a real eternal hope in Jesus my redeemer. He has already won for me, I’ve nothing to do but trust Him.