Before Jesus Changed My Life
Before I turned to God, I was full of myself. I wanted to do everything, care for everyone, and I wanted to control my life. When things didn’t go my way, or I messed up, or something didn’t work out, or it felt like I let someone down, my sense of pride and control were damaged. I was so self-focused in the past, present, and future that in any area, I messed up, I would spiral into depression, and I just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself. I stopped sleeping well, eating well, and overall just stopped taking care of myself. I almost didn’t graduate, I barely went to class, and I felt like doing nothing. I got to a point where I had some really dark thoughts. I started seeking validation from other people, which caused them to turn away, which caused even more isolation. I just started thinking that everything was wrong with me, and that was after I tried to find anything else to blame other than myself.
How Jesus Changed My Life
The turnaround for my life happened as my Aunt, who is a follower of Christ, kept pursuing me. I also had a friend who, despite how I treated them, continued to talk to me about God, and invited me to Salt. I started coming to be in community in hopes to find something to fill what was empty inside me. As I started going more, got to know some people, I was struck by how these Salt students seemed to be so full of joy. I remember thinking to myself, “I want that, why is that? How is that?” The biggest question I asked myself was, “Can I be that? Can I have that in my life?” Mind you I say that, I didn’t know what “that” was, that being God. I knew of God, but I didn’t actually know or have a relationship with God. As I went more I got to learn more about God and was like “ wow, cool, like I think I want that”. God’s work in my heart started with hesitancy and really still in my sin. But then there was a point where I said, “Lord Jesus, forgive me for I have sinned, I confess that you are my savior that you died for my sins, I don’t want to bear these burdens any more, free me of my sins.” And after that point, what used to be empty became “I’m full.”
My Life After Jesus Saved Me
My life now is very different. God has taught me gratitude, being thankful for the day, whatever worries I would have instead is filled with God’s goodness, knowing I’m a child of God, whatever plan he has for me, it’s a good plan because it’s God’s plan. Knowing that it’s all God’s plan not only is comforting when I think about the future, it also has given me closure and acceptance of my past. Even when things got really hard, it was his way of revealing himself to me, and I praise God every day for it, wouldn’t change a thing. God has also taught me love and what it is. It’s not all about me, it’s about God. When you turn to God, he is your life, your focus. God’s the only one who won’t ever let you down. Compared to when you make your life about yourself, you’re going to let yourself down. God has taught me to be courageous. A lot of my life before, I was scared, afraid to mess up. Nowadays, I do things without fear because God is with me, he loves me, he’s taught me that there is no room for fear in my heart if it’s filled with God’s love. My favorite verse, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9