Before Jesus Changed My Life

I grew up in a small town Lutheran church. I remember from a young age my parents were dedicated to raising my sister and I as Christians. We checked every box: baptism, first bible, first communion, Sunday school, vacation bible school, Luther League, confirmation. I served more fellowship halls and donation dinners than I could count. I’m not saying this was bad. I think my parents and the church members had good intentions, but I was only going through the motions. I had no understanding of the Gospel and no relationship with God. My family’s faith was a Wednesday night and Sunday morning check box that didn’t actually have any impact on our lives and was not discussed at home. I would say I was a believer, but what did that even mean? Once I made it through confirmation, and the final box was checked, my family stopped attending church regularly and I lost the little connection I had to my faith. I look back on much of my adolescence and see a kid who felt lost, unloved, anxious, and angry. I wanted nothing more than to leave that small town and never look back. My brokenness was evident in the way I treated others. Sin controlled my life. I finally made it out, ending up a whole two hours south in Cedar Rapids where I started my freshman year at Coe College thinking my brokenness would magically resolve and I’d finally feel happy. That, of course, did not happen. The struggle continued during my first semester of college. From the outside, I was having fun, making friends, and playing on the volleyball team, but on the inside, I was lacking purpose and direction in my life.

How Jesus Changed My Life

While home for Christmas break, I felt an urge to find my old Bible. I found it in a back storage room, abandoned like I was never going to read it again. I wiped off the dust and for the first time opened the Word with a heart longing for the Lord. I felt God’s presence with me. Like the prodigal son returning home, God welcomed me, a broken sinner, back with love and forgiveness. His grace and compassion washed over me. I didn’t feel hopeless or alone. I felt peace and joy that I hadn’t experienced before. I was eager to continue reading His Word. I learned about His sacrificial love (John 3:16). I learned about the grace He gives me even though I don’t deserve it and didn’t earn it (Ephesians 2:8-9). I learned Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). I am reconciled back to God because Jesus paid the price for my sins when he suffered and died on the cross. All of this was life giving good news my weary soul was desperately searching for. Even though I am a broken sinner and fall short of His glory, I am loved unconditionally.

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

That summer I read Bob Goff’s books Love Does and Everybody Always. I felt the Lord shift my priorities. I wanted to love like Jesus. I felt God calling me to build a life with Him as the cornerstone. My sophomore year, God led me to Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I met Aaron Reasland who walked with me as I started down the narrow road of following Jesus. Aaron led many Bible studies and helped open my eyes to scripture. My junior year was the first time I attended Veritas thanks to Aaron and his loving family’s invitation. I had never experienced a church like Veritas. People seemed genuinely excited about and dedicated to their faith. I felt the Holy Spirit moving in me. Because of God’s sacrificial love and gift of grace, my faith has continued to grow over the years. I'm still a broken sinner that will always fall short of His glory, but now I recognize the awful weight of my sins and I want to glorify God. I live a life with more love like Jesus in my heart. I feel very blessed by the biblical community that has continued to grow around me. Aaron and Liz are still there for my fiancé and I as mentors. I am held accountable but feel encouraged in my faith with the help of my connection group. The Lord has softened my heart into becoming more vulnerable with other believers, something I never imagined, but is allowing me to heal and grow in obedience. I am grateful for all God has done in my life to show me His glory, love, and grace. Because of my love and faith in the Lord, I am eager to share my commitment to Him, all he has done in my life, and what He provides to other broken people like me. I am saved by grace through faith – that is good news worth sharing!