Before Jesus Changed My Life

I was a long-time believer and prayer. I’ve always craved connection with a side of self-determination and the desire to control my outcomes. The world had a sneaky way of keeping its grip on me - from ‘boss girl babe’ programming to horoscopes and star readings. What’s it all mean!? There was a solid decade of my life that wasn’t producing good fruit. I think more often than not, I’d keep rolling into more sin to try and forget about the last loop of sin. Something had to give. When I’d meditate or hear a new striking song that moved me, I’d bawl, like I was homesick from something I couldn’t place. There had to be something I was missing. But I knew of Jesus, what else could it be? The problem was I only knew of him, not the whole truth within him.

How Jesus Changed My Life

There were many impactful phases – God never gave up on me. I’m certain Jesus met me in my room when I was 15 years old. I was crying out of shame, and I felt this entire woosh run through my body. And I instantly stopped crying, I even tried to cry, and I couldn’t, this unbelievable warmth washed over me, and I felt ‘everything will be just fine’. Twenty-some odd years later, and when settling some roots in Cedar Rapids (a town in which my husband and I didn’t know a soul), the Holy Spirit was nudging me big time to get in the word and a place to worship. What felt like baby steps, asking around, an invitation to Veritas, consistent Sundays, more active prayer, a radio station upgrade, bible study invite, which led to big steps. True repentance! In all my prayers for wisdom, God gave it to me. Enough with the baby repentance, repent big. Ever since I laid it all out loud to God, I have never felt so clearly focused and eager to crave, know, and love God and his gift of Jesus. Just as I felt at 15, I’m embodied in now and forever – ‘and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7) The gospel reflects the great news of Jesus, that he has paid it all. Freedom from our sins even as we don’t deserve it. Why would someone do that? Mercy, grace, and love. These cherished, heartfelt gifts from God show us that we are his chosen children, his bride, his joy. What good news! Rejoice! And as our faith grows from this amazing news, our veil is lifted. As 2 Corinthians 3:16-17 states, ‘But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.’ Freedom. A new Sara, a new you all because of our new heart given by God, thanks be to Jesus. I was blind, but now I see. (John 9:25)

My Life After Jesus Saved Me

I now have this overwhelming, joyful outlook on life. I turn frustrations and worries over to him. He is my automatic man of internal peace. Now that I have a taste of this, I truly couldn’t imagine my life without it. And though my journey is my journey and God has his timing in it all – I can’t help but wish, a little bit, that my veil was lifted earlier so I could have praised him more days on earth. A place where we get to choose to do so. His timing proves it's never too late for saving, and when you do. How sweet it is. (Psalms 119:103)