Before Jesus Changed My Life
Before Christ saved me, I was truly broken. Depression, anxiety and self hate was rooted deep in my heart. I saw no point in my life and often thought of ending it, but I never could. My family became broken, and I felt more alone than I have ever felt before. Soon after I met my husband and thought I could live fulfilled in him, it didn’t work. I gave birth to my son, and I remember thinking, “I’ll be okay if I just put my all into being a mom,” and it helped to distract me, but it never filled my emptiness. Looking back now, I truly felt dead inside. I had my happy moments and times where I could fake it, but my sin ran so deep, I didn’t know, or didn’t want to know, how badly I needed Christ. I was trying so hard to find my identity in the world around me and in worldly roles. I was trying to find a place to feel whole, but the world could never do that for me.
How Jesus Changed My Life
Christ has been working in my life long before I knew it, protecting me. When my family broke, he gave me a new family, people to support me when I felt alone, and although I tried to ignore it they were people God sent to me to bring me to him. When I tried to move away, God brought me back to the people I needed to be near—slowly exposing me to the things I needed. He instilled in me the desire for a community and presented Veritas. I attended the gospel-centered parenting class, my depression and anxiety was turning to anger and I was scared of how my condition would hurt my children. Within that class, God showed me what I could be as a parent, but only through him. I fell in love with Christ through that class and have only had the desire for him. I started to learn more about God and the gospel and found that it wasn’t anything like I’d been shown in the past. I began reading God’s Word and being convicted by it. I came to believe it was possible to have my identity in something other than myself. Colossians 3:1-4 makes that clear, saying, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
My Life After Jesus Saved Me
Christ saved me from myself. I feel the weight of my sin, but I also feel the support of Christ. I’ve learned to let go of the control I thought I had over my life and realize that if it hadn’t been for God loving me despite my refusal of him, I would never have made it this far. Christ changed my heart, and he’s changed my life. I strive everyday to put all my trust in God and live as he has shown us to live. I am not perfect, and I am a sinner, but Christ loves me, Christ has saved me, and for that I will put all my faith and all my trust in Jesus Christ for as long as I live on this earth and in eternity. In light of this I have a continued desire to grow to reflect more of God’s glory, not to find peace and wholeness in myself.