Good morning Veritas. If we haven't had the opportunity to meet. My name is Matthew. I'm one of the pastors on staff here, and we have entered a new teaching series, Families Built for War. How does this sit with y'all? All right. You had a good time last Sunday. Good. Well, we're taking the next step, and we're going to talk a little bit today about parenting. Parenting in a world at war. It's happening. And it's not a war that's necessarily fought with bullets or bombs. And it's not necessarily on the other side of the ocean. It's a spiritual war. And I wish and hope and pray that we would catch the vision for the fact that we are in a spiritual battle right here in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It's not just happening out there. It's happening in here. It's happening with each one of us individually. And it's definitely happening within our family systems that are represented here. To those who we love the most. And I think for some of us, the problem is I think we expect the enemy to like, show up and tell us his plans. We expect him to show up, but we would never think about that if we're playing risk with a family member. We think and try to figure out a way to surprise attack them. Or if you're gaming or whatever your thing is, um, we're usually we're okay with that, but some of us don't seem to think that our enemy is surprise attacking us constantly. It's a spiritual battle. It's it's happening. I think some of us think that Satan will show up with a dressed in red, with horns and a pitchfork ready to poke you. But again, he's far more deceitful than that. He's far more subtle than that. He's been operating in this same way since Genesis chapter three. And in Genesis chapter three, he seeded doubt into Eve's mind. And Eve eventually acted on her doubt. Did God really say and Eve acted on those questions? And for us, he chips away at our belief in God. Did God actually say, did God. Does God actually want us to do this? And those doubts become sinful thoughts. They become sinful desires, and they become sinful actions. And yet the battlefield is shockingly ordinary. It's an ordinary battlefield. It happens in our kitchen. It happens in our living room. And for these battles, a lot of the times nothing gets broken. It happens in the small decisions that we make constantly. Some in the morning, some in the afternoon and some towards evening. This battle is taking place so I love this word war that we have titled this The Families Built for war. Because war reminds us that something precious is at stake. Your soul is precious and it is at stake. And as we talk about parenting, your children's souls are precious and they're at stake. And war heightens our attention when it comes to thinking about it. In war, lives are on the line. Spiritually speaking. Our enemy. He loves to create destruction, chaos and death and not always physical death. But he thrives in breaking up relationships. He thrives in destroying marriages and destroying the family. He thrives in potentially derailing generations who ought to be seeking after God. War changes priorities. War gives clarity in some cases, and war forces us to ask the question like, what are. What are we fighting for? What are. What are you fighting for? Are you. Are you fighting? Now, we as Christians have an incredible truth that we can hold on to the reality that Jesus Christ has already won. Amen. Jesus Christ won. And so we're not fighting for victory in our daily battles. We're fighting out of victory for our daily battles. The war is won. We've seen the game. We know who wins, but we're watching the game. We're involved in the game, and we don't know how it's going to go. This this little part, especially as humans. So we're wondering how these little battles go. But we know and function out of the reality that the war's already been won. So how does Christ's victory shape the way we lead our families? How does Christ's victory shape the way we fight as parents? So I want to address maybe an elephant in the room that not all of us in this room are parents. Some of you are young, some of you just haven't aren't in a relationship. And so you're not married. And so you're thinking someday, and I want to encourage you who are in the room, who are young or just not married, not in a relationship, in marriage, um, that this truth, these truths don't hit you when you're handed your first child at like one thirty a m like, oh, I know it now. Uh, no. So this isn't lost on you. Study, pray, grow in your relationship with God. Understand God's character because your sanctification will come. Secondly, there's a group of you that are walking through infertility, and this is a unique pain that hits. And I want to honor you and respect you. And I think the greatest thing we can encourage you in this morning is that Christ would be your greatest hope and your greatest comfort. That, well, I'm not aware necessarily of your story. The Lord is. He's aware. He hears your prayers. Lean into him and find hope and security in his perfect plan. And lastly, a challenge to those of you who have always already raised kids. Um, I was a youth pastor for eleven ish years. Some of it was part time. One of the most. Frustrating phrases I heard from somebody when we were in need of volunteers was I did my time and I thought, how wicked, how wicked that you have done your time and you're out. You're out. And there's some of you in this room, and I want to challenge you with two of our Culturals primary topics, it seems, towards grand parents is this idea that I did my time, I'm done, or this idea that I just get to spoil the grandchildren. I get that that comes from maybe a in jest, but I think too many of us aren't joking anymore. You've got wisdom to share. You've got some stories of God's faithfulness to share. Don't spoil the grandkids. The scriptures plans are that one generation would be intentionally investing in the next generation. So don't sit out. Don't shut your mouths. Come and listen. Don't sleep during this service. Come and listen and be encouraged to speak truth. So back to the questions. What's God's objective in giving us children? Why does God entrust us with families and what does it look like to parent? Well, one more caveat before we dive in here, I want to talk a little bit about parenting, and I want to talk a little bit about children. And I want us to understand something about children. Children are not an accident. Now, perhaps on your end of things, it might have been a surprise, but it is God that knits children together in their mother's womb. It is God that gives life. So no, in the grand scheme of eternal things, children are not an accident. Children are not an interruption. Culture of the United States of America. Children are not an interruption. Certainly they might be an interruption to this guy's plans or your plans and your dreams, but they are not an interruption to God's plans and therefore God's will for your life. They're not accidental and they're not an interruption. And lastly, they're not merely a lifestyle choice. We need to think more big about these things. It is not that in one spot I do this and in the other spot I do that and children happen to be another category. I pray that we can dismantle some of that even this morning. As we think about it. Children are intentional. They're purposeful. God might even use them in our family to sharpen us. God's given them as a gift for us to steward. God, given them as a gift for us to be sanctified, to be drawn closer to him. So. So where do we get that? Genesis chapter one, verse twenty eight. I'm not going to spend a lot of time here, but this is Adam and Eve. And for those of you that think about these things, this is before Genesis chapter three. This is before sin entered the world. This isn't a law of God. This was given to the people of God before sin entered the world. Verse twenty eight says this, And God blessed them. Adam and Eve and said to them, be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the earth. Okay. God has given humanity a role. We're to be image bearers of God on this earth, and we're to take dominion of the whole entire earth. We're to use it for ourselves, for our lives, and to bring God glory in our lives. So it has a purpose and it's meaningful. Then in Psalm one twenty seven, Asaph says this to encourage us in our parenting. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. Like a heritage, they're a long term blessing from the Lord. They're a long term blessing from the Lord, the fruit of the womb. A reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man. Happy is the man who fills his quiver with them. You know, I don't know if these verses are connected, and it might be a stretch, but when I think about Ephesians chapter six and the war that the devil wages on us, he shoots fiery darts at us, and we have the sword of the spirit. But here we we see this idea that we have arrows, we have our children that we can equip and disciple to send out and fight against the enemy's attack on who we are. But when you think about these two texts, like, do you see the attack? Do you see why we need to be families built for war? This idea that we will somehow overpopulate the earth like God, somehow isn't in control of the population of the earth, or that we will damage the environment by our very existence or by our growth as humanity. Did God not make a plan for that? Is God going to falter? Certainly we should take care of the earth. That's the point of subdue the earth. That's our point. As people, as humanity, as image bearers of God on the earth. But it's not the main point. I think oftentimes any nineties babies in this room, there are more than three of us. Come on. I'm an eighties child. All right, whatever. You guys don't raise your hands. I think when you came through that era, right, you. You thought of children like you're either going to get an STD or you're going to get a child, so you should watch out. And that's, I think, one of the devil's ways, one of our hard hearted ways of like him chipping away at us like this could be a bad thing. I could be plagued for life with a child which flies in the face of what God has said about children. Biblically, it's not the difference of an STD or a kid. There's a war against the family. Lastly, referencing Psalm one hundred twenty seven is the evil of abortion. This idea that I can just kill it, I can just kill it, and I can move on, perhaps with the other categories of life that I need to achieve. Thank God there is forgiveness of sin. But this idea that floats out in our culture, that this is so flippant and optional and that I have control of life or death should not be. There's a war for our families. There's a war for our souls. So instead of just only focusing on what we shouldn't do, what do we do amidst this battle for the children that we do have? So if you have a Bible, turn with me to the book of Deuteronomy. Let's look at chapter six, Deuteronomy chapter six. God doesn't just tell us things not to do. He gives us things to do with the children that we have. Deuteronomy six, verses four through nine say, this hero Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your might. And these words that I command you shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise, you shall bind them as frontlets on your hands, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Now the goal isn't that you run to Hobby Lobby afterward and buy a picture with a Bible verse on it. Okay? There's this idea in this frontlets and this things around your wrist is that they, it permeates you. Like people look at you and they're like, that guy's a Christian. Like, hear him for three minutes and you're going to hear something come out of him about his God. I mean, I can see it on him. Like, look at their home. It's different. And again, that's what I think this text continues to say. What does parenting look like according to Deuteronomy six? Well, parents, you need to love the Lord your God with all of your heart and your mind, heart, mind, and all your might. You. You love the Lord with everything. Like he's the Lord. Like. Like he's the Savior of everything. Like he, he knows you and he saved you. It starts there in our own hearts. Then he moves on. This love saturated person teaches their children diligently. You get this idea that it's not accidental. We as Christians, I think, love to fall into this thing of if I don't say anything, but I just do it, they'll do it. There's a time for us to teach the children to teach them diligently. Well, when should I do that? Well, Deuteronomy says, when you are, you shall talk to them when you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way. Right. So you get this idea that when you're driving to swimming lessons, you should teach the children you're driving to baseball, teach the children. Capture the moments and teach the children the commands of God. Right. When you're lying down, teach the children. And when you're waking up, teach the children. Teach the children. And when you're at war, this diligence makes more sense. I'm equipping you for today's battle. Today you have heard these secular concepts. I want to speak biblical truth to these secular concepts that you're going to swim in today. You saw this. I want to tell you about what Jesus did. Teach the children. Tell them intelligently, diligently about the things of God. Morning, afternoon, evening. We talk of the Lord, and when we're out walking or cycling, we talk about the Lord, teaching them diligently to love the Lord our God with all their heart, with all their mind, and with all their might. Teach them to love it so still. Why do we even do this? I've been given a few children. I've been given Finley. I've been given Piper. I've been given Oliver to teach them diligently. Okay? Why? Why are we called to do this? Why are we called to teach the commands of God? Let's go to Psalms chapter seventy eight. I'm going to focus in on a few verses here, verses two through eight. Parents, I'd love for you to memorize this text. Literally memorize it. Hold fast to it. Psalms verse seventy eight, verses two, uh, starting verse two says this. I will open my mouth in a parable. I will utter dark sayings or a parable or the idea of stories. I will utter stories, sayings from of old things that we have heard and known that our fathers have told us. You see, fathers are telling. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children not yet born, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the words of God, but keep his commandments, and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. Right? There's this contrasting story here. Like, look at the word generations in this text tell the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord, so that the next generation might know him, so that they should set their hope in God. Okay, so we have this opportunity as adults to speak to our children about the faithfulness of God. When you look at the story of Scripture, you see the story of God in a people called Israel, a people called Israel. They were born into slavery, and then they walked through the wilderness. After having walked through the Red sea on dry ground. They had some stories of God's faithfulness to them. And we, as parents of young children, have those stories of God's faithfulness to them. And those are the key stories of God's faithfulness. Secondly, and less importantly, you and I have stories of God's faithfulness to us. We don't get to write it in this book. This book is closed. It's done. But God is not closed and he is not done. And so we can go back to the scriptures and say, remember when the Israelites were in the wilderness and they were struggling, I was struggling. I struggled through middle school, right? They kept telling me how big my nose was, and that created issues for me, right? And I might have been dead in trespasses and sins, but God was faithful to me. I see how God moved me through, how he cared for me, how he loved me. Tell that to your children. Tell that to the children. That the same God that cared that the Israelites got bread, cared, and took care of you and cares for them. Tell that to the children diligently, that they might set their hope in God, not in getting out of middle school to get to high school, not in getting out of high school to get to college, not in getting out of college and getting a job. Tell them about the hope in God that is with them, literally where they're at. And literally, when Mom and Dad are asleep, tell them about the hope of God. There's a war raging for our hope. It begins with the simple lie that there is no God, and that though His word isn't true, and God knows that. That's why he gave us this thing called the family, so that we might disciple the next generation. Strangely, your kids are usually fifty percent you and another person. They probably experiencing a lot of the same things that you've experienced. Another theme that they might have is the theme of sin. We can relate, and there's a theme of a savior that we can also relate to as adults. Tell them. Tell them about the Savior. There is a war raging for their hope, and God has set this family unit in place after marriage to be a means of discipleship for the next generation. So let's go back to the main question what's God's objective in giving us children? Is it simply that they get to adulthood? And I hear this a lot, like I just got to get them to their eighteen. They're gone. Yes. Is that it? Is it to get them a good job to get them an education? Is it to get maybe some grandkids? Is that what we're doing here? Maybe it's to give them a life that you didn't have. What is the purpose? What is the point? I think according to scriptures, these are not the ultimate goals for children. God didn't give you children for these purposes. God's objective is that the next generation would know him, hope in him, remember his works, and obey his commands. In other words, I would say that parenting is more than raising good children. It is making disciples of Jesus Christ. Parenting is more than raising good kids. It is making disciples of Jesus Christ. And we run into this tension here because I think we we run into like almost a secular view of like, what success is, these twelve things, they work. And therefore I did the twelve things. They work or didn't work, but I achieved it. And there's a reality that we learned about in the book of First John, the last study that we did, that you're a sinner and I'm a sinner. We sin. And so a successful parent is a parent who recognizes I'm a sinner. And they confess their sins, and God is faithful and just to forgive them their sins and to cleanse them from all unrighteousness. And we repent. We turn from our sin. So my kids, some of them, two of them are in driver's training. So they are Pharisees when it comes to driving. And every time I roll a stop sign, they're quick to tell me, dad, you didn't stop. You didn't wait three. And I'm just like, yeah, you're right. Guilty. Parents need to be confessing parents because we believe in Jesus and we need to repent. We need to turn from our sinful ways and we need to go the other direction. So it is with perfect parenting or perfect children. It isn't that they get the job and they get the money, and they have the stability and the stuff, right? What is it? Profit a man if he gains the whole world and lose his soul? So why are we equipping our children to gain the world? And yet you lose their soul? Why they're calling so much deeper and greater than that. The calling is that they would be a confessing child, a confessing young, young, young adult who would honor the Lord's holiness and would confess and be sorrowful for their sin and say, God help me. I want to turn from this. I want to turn from this addiction. I want to turn from this laziness. I want to turn from this distraction, and I want to serve you wholeheartedly. If parenting is more about discipleship, and I believe Deuteronomy six and seventy eight, make that in Psalm seventy eight, make that abundantly clear, then everything about parenting needs to change. You can't use a secular systems judgment when you're a biblical parent. We need to stop asking the question of how to raise successful kids by worldly standards and ask the question, how do I faithfully trust God to make disciples of my children? How do I faithfully trust God to make disciples? Instead of asking how rich we can make them, or how successful they can be by the world's standards? How can we train them to be humbly successful by God's standards? The standards that don't change. The standards that do matter for an eternity. That is the question. So for parenting to make disciples, how does this look? And I think Scripture gives us three means for how we can look at this very practically. So let's dial in to this one. I think we need to model faith. Model faith. You do. You act out of what you believe in. I didn't pay much attention. But I would bet none of you in this room analyzed the chair that you are now sitting in. Because you believed by faith that it would hold you up. Fair. Did anyone check your chair? All right. Two smart alecks. Okay. All right. But most of the time we don't. We just function like, I know this chair will hold me. I'm just going to sit down, and you did, right. Most of us in this room started our car believing it would start this morning. We just didn't think twice about it. It's going to start and we just went with it. Right? Your kids see that, by the way. If you didn't realize it, they know, they know, They know. Stop faking it. Parents. They know. Confess your sin. They know. Okay? They see how you act. They see what passions you have when you're talking about the new golf clubs. And it's so easy and it just rolls off your tongue and you stumble through maybe John three sixteen, an amazing Bible verse. They they see that I don't want that to completely be a rebuke. I want that to be a prodding for you to learn the verse and walk through it with them. Okay. They see what you're passionate about. Do they see you passionate about the Lord Jesus Christ? And you go back to Deuteronomy chapter six. It says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Like do they? Do they see that? Like what they say? That's my dad. You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. And it's not just the Ten Commandments. Like, do you have a relationship with God? I don't when I talk about my wife, I don't give you the Ten Commandments of how she expects me to be. I can talk to you literally about who she is. Is your relationship with God a rigid bullet point? I get it. That's really hard to talk about. It's hard grow. Challenge you to grow in that and then. And then model your faith. Okay, so if you're like, I don't even know, like, where do I even begin? Like, I don't know the Bible. You're just overwhelming me. Start with your kids. Say it with your kids. read the Bible with your kids when they say, what's that word mean? Guess what? I don't know what it means either. Let's carefully use Google and let's look up the word. Let's go to our pastor together and let's ask, what on earth does this Bible verse mean? Like, help them learn with them. I had a lady as a youth pastor. I had a lady challenged me. I was struggling to teach my son math. And she said, one of the most powerful ways to teach somebody is to learn alongside them. It was more about math. But man, that was a powerful statement. What does it look like for some of you dads to learn alongside your children? It is not just your wife's role to read the Bible story each night to your kid. You should get in there, change your priorities, quit your job. Do what you need to lead your family spiritually. Get in the game. But it becomes a model. You model what you love. Do they just know about the Hawkeyes or the cyclones, or do they know about the Gulf? Like what? What do they see modeled in your life? Second point teach your children diligently. It said this pretty clearly, but there's this opportunity to talk about your kids day in and day out. It's intentionality with your kids. Be intentional. Devote time to this. And honestly, folks, when I read this text, it kind of blows the family devos out of the water. That's just this much of the day. It's like twenty, thirty minutes of the day. Capture those drives, take them back from the radio, take them back from the meaningless gaming, capture those times, speak truth, talk about biblical identity, talk about God's hatred of sin. Talk about God and His love. Talk about the cross and how he redeems. Talk about how he redeemed you. Be diligent as teachers of your children. And certainly, most practically, it might be starting with family worship. Me and my family have started family worship at least a million times. God is gracious. Start to worship together as a family. Literally read the Bible together as husband and wife and children. If that is your family story, read the text. Literally. Sing worship songs to the Lord. Make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Do it. Lean in. Be intentional with those times, but understand that those twenty thirty minutes aren't it? Capture the moments in the car. Capture the moments when they could be gaming. Capture the moments. Speak the truth in love. Teach the scriptures, let it overflow in your conversation. So we have model of faith. Teach your children diligently and then discipline. I love discipline. Yay! Let's talk about it. Uh, discipline is a significant part of parenting and often we struggle with that as well, right? We struggle with discipline. Discipline starts when a child is young, and it's the beginning of teaching that the world does not revolve around them. The world does not revolve around you, me and your mother. We're going to care for you in the most vulnerable state of your life, when you have no clue and are totally helpless. And then we're going to start to teach you that the world does not revolve around you. It revolves around God. There is a good, awesome authority that exists and you need to revolve around him. He is who our lives should be about. It's this concept of telling your child to go to bed and not entering the room seventeen times to get them to be quiet. I told you to go to bed. Go to sleep. It's about telling your child to do the chore and then completing it without grumbling or complaining. The first time, and I'm convinced that you determine the arguments you're going to have with your twelve to sixteen year old before they're the age of one and a half. Do you cave? Do you cave? Do you laugh at sin? Is it. It's just really cute this time. It's cute. We'll dial it in later. It's cute. Sin is sin. It's not funny. Okay. Recognize this? Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus. I don't have it on the screen. He's talking to a group of believers, and he tells them to remember like, hey, you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you once walked. You were following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, of whom we all once lived. I can relate, I've been there, but do. But do we laugh at sin? I remember the first time we disciplined my first child. He was seven months old, and he had been told at least three billion times to not do a thing, and he went to the thing to do it. And then he looked back at his mom and dad, and he smirked and a cold chill ran down my spine. I mean, I'm not even kidding. I was like, whoa, that was evil. And right there he experienced the rod. That is not acceptable. We've told you not to do that. And we're going to lean in and teach you, right? Do you sin or do you cave to sin? Let's go to Proverbs thirteen, verse twenty four. Don't take my word for it. Go here. Whoever spares the rod hates his son. I read that and let that sink in for a minute. Whoever spares discipline, you actually hate your children. I think a lot of children exist out there and they're wondering, where's the guardrails? Where are we going today? It's that. And tomorrow it's this with dad. It's that. And with Mama, it's this. Where's the guardrail? So I'm going to press all the buttons and we're going to see if there's any guidance here. They're desperate for a plan. And to not give them a plan is hatred toward your son. But he who loves him is diligent. To discipline him, is diligent to discipline his. Intentional. With discipline. It's planned, it's going to happen. And let's not forget, folks, that this talks about A-Rod and all Scripture is breathed out by God and is useful for teaching, correcting, and training in righteousness that the man or woman of God may be thoroughly equipped to do good works. This wasn't accidentally placed in here, nor shall it be erased with a new culture and a new time, nor shall it be erased with a new culture and a new time. Now some will say, do all children need to be spanked? No. Probably not. I had three boys and it was wildly different. But there's this picture. There's this calling of this little sting I pray prevents you from a greater sting that is eternal. This little inferior father, I pray, is a little bit of a picture of a greater father, capital F, who is calling you to holiness, who is calling you to holiness in your broken state as all children are. What if discipline was less about correcting a bad thing and more about doing the right thing? You're called to holiness. Obey your father and your mother. Honor your father and your mother. What if it was less about the parent's will and more about submitting to God's will? What if discipline was less about right now and forty years later, and more about eternity? Parents, I plead with you that every act of teaching, every act of discipline is shaping. Your child's understanding of authority is shaping your child's understanding of truth is shaping your child's understanding of sin, is shaping your child's understanding of repentance. And ultimately, it's shaping their understanding of God Himself. Discipline is very serious. It is desperately needed. And in fact, the more intentional you are, I bet the less you'll need it. The more intentional you are. I would argue, the less you need it. So consider these things. This matters. Living the life of a Christian matters as your kids watch diligently. Teaching your children matters as your kids learn and grow, and disciplining them with intelligence and care and intentionality matters as they grow boundaries and become the men and women of God that God calls them to be. Intentional discipline falls in line with intentional teaching. We're given children to steward them and to steward them well, even for us to trust God as we lead our kids. And it's all the more important as we build families in a wartime environment. Folks, you're at war. Fight for your family. Let's pray. Jesus, we're thankful to you for who you are, God and you. I pray, Lord, that those people who may have sent some form of shame or guilt, God, perhaps rightly were convicted of things they're doing wrong would confess their sin. God, I pray that you would motivate moms and dads to passionately fight for their marriages and to passionately fight for their children. God, give us a heart to follow you and give us a heart of diligence to do what you say and to share it with our kids. God, you discipline those you love. And I pray, Lord, that our children would see the loving hands of the father through their parents. And we pray that the result would be holiness. So do a mighty work and get all the glory. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.